Goodbye 2011, Glad to Never See You Again!

I am quite thrilled that this year, of grief, depression, calamity, is finally over. I think it’s comical that I began the year looking forward to better myself, but that blew up in my face. I started my year with Passion, which was a great experience, and I came back motivated. I look back at the One Word 2011 post, and I said “By the time I know it, December 2011 is going to be here and I wouldn’t have broken anything, and I’ll feel like I have failed.” Well, the only thing that broke was my actual physical body. Plus, I gave up on this word months ago. But do I feel like I’ve failed? Not really; I quite honestly don’t really care that it didn’t work out.

Now I begin to look at the upcoming year, which I’m hoping with my entire soul it won’t turn out as crappy as this year. 2012 will be one of the biggest transition years in my life. I’ll be graduating high school and beginning college, which is both frightening and super exciting. This year I’ll have no one word, no resolution, no goal to reach. I’ll just go about days doing all the mundane life things. And I’m happy with that.

I often wonder, what makes January 1 so special? You still wake up in the same place, doing the same things. I mean I understand that it’s a new year and a resolution is a goal to attempt to better yourself. I mean I can see the meaning in it, but to be completely honest: the last time I attempted to better myself, it ruined my life, plus almost taking my actual physical life. So, I'm in some way scared that some goal I set will again, blow up in my face. I don’t look at the new year as a “new start” because I’ll still be in the exact same place when the sun rises in the morning. I get the “new start” that everyone speaks of is metaphorical and such, but I guess I’m too literal. I’ll just live my life, that’s pretty much it.

"A long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last."