So Long Sweet Summer

It’s the last day of summer.

Well, it’s been a first of many this summer. I was in my first car accident, first trip to the hospital, first coma, first wasp sting, first earthquake ever experienced, and many more. Summer 2011 will forever be the worst summer ever. Unfortunate? Yes. And it’s unfortunate to be going back to school when it honestly feels I haven’t even had a break. The first three weeks counted for something, but the last two months greatly overpower the first three weeks.

It’s my senior year, and I know I need to enter into it with a positive attitude. I know that, but quite honestly I’m not going to. It’s just going to put even more stress on me and make me go even more “insane in the membrane”, as I called it in the hospital. This year I’ll be taking Hon. Government, Humanities, Advanced Alg. II / Trig, English 12, AP Psychology, and Our British Heritage. My inner core is shaking with trepidation. Will I be able to remember the material? Will I have the stamina to be alert for seven hours? Will I be able to handle the noise? Will 2,000 students just be way too overwhelming? There are too many unknowns and that’s why I am fearful.

Things have changed; actually pretty much everything has changed, in a negative way of course. I drove to school every single day last year, but now my parents are prohibiting me from actually being self sufficient. I can understand my parent’s caution, so it’s pretty much a waiting game. I wish someone would just let me prove to them that I am capable. So far, no one’s even let me do that. My mother says the doctor needs to approve, but the next time that’ll be is Sept. 27. Just use some empathy right now: imagine doing everything for yourself for one year and seven months. For one mistake, ONE, everything is taken from you. I just want my independence back.

There are perfect songs that’ll end my summer. I’ll listen to them on repeat tonight, and I’ll imagine my summer was actually that sweet. Therefore, “so long sweet summer.”

Warmth of the Sand – Dashboard Confessional
Age Six Racer - Dashboard Confessional