Sorry guys, I started it here so I’ll end it here. It’s been 9 months into the year and nothing’s been broken, well except my physical being. My one word is no longer; I’m giving up on that word, ‘cause so far the only thing that’s ACTUALLY been broken is me. That’s not what I wanted out of this and there’s nothing to do with the word anymore.
Unfortunately, my hesitations with this word have come true. I haven’t broken anything; the only thing that’s actually physically broken is me. I want to say thanks to the people that supported me with my One Word, like Alece and Nicole. So please don’t be disappointed; there’ll be another year to give this a shot again. Be excited for me that I’ll have another opportunity to try this whole thing again when I feel capable of doing so.
I said in my One Word 2011 post that if nothing’s happened with this word, then I would feel like I’ve failed. But you know what? I don’t feel like I’m failing at all by laying this word to rest. I also said “It’s weird to say “I want to break my life.” That’s not really what I’m meaning.” Unfortunately, my actual life has been broken. My opportunities, my independence, my potential in school have all been stolen from me since the accident. It doesn’t seem fair, and yes I’m actually upset. As unfortunate as that may be, the only thing I can do is keep pushing on. I feel defeated, but I don’t want to be defeated just because I can’t have what I want.
Keep an open heart and an open mind is my best bet on my road to recovery. Whenever I want to punch a doctor in the face, I won’t. Whenever I want to cuss out my mom/dad, I won’t. Whenever I want to quit therapy, I won’t… (only because my mom won’t let me). I have to overcome bitterness before making progress. I’m not concentrating on something that can’t break; I’m concentrating on just getting well. So peace, farewell, and much love to Break.
if you could pick a new word to focus on for the remaining 4 months of the year... what would you pick?
ReplyDelete...hmm that's something to think about. I first thought heal. But then I thought that was lame, so then I thought I'd go with overcome. But I have to write about it, sleep on it, and maybe I'll find the right word.
ReplyDeleteI thought of overcome b/c there's ALOT to overcome: school, anger & bitterness, relationships, physical problems, etc.
Love that question, Alece.
ReplyDelete(it's not Charlie, I'ts Nicole.) :)