18.

Yesterday I turned 18. Legal to: smoke cigarettes, buy lottery tickets, drink in the UK, get pierced, and get tattooed. I only did two of those things on my 18th, get pierced and buy lottery tickets. I spent most of my day with my sister; which was the greatest gift of all. We went to breakfast in the morning. Then we shopped at Target for all the stuff she needs to take back to college. Then we got our nails did. By that point, I was so exhausted. I went home and took a nap until 5:00. I knew there was something up, and I was suspicious the whole day. The evening came, and I was going to dinner with my sister, dad, and mom. I knew that wasn’t the case, considering when we passed The Melting Pot, she kept driving. We kept on driving; then she made a U-Turn. My suspicions were right! Something was up.

I walked into The Melting Pot with high suspicions. My sister and I followed the hostess back into the little private room, where it seemed like a 100 people were! And I really wasn’t expecting that many people to be there. I think there were like twelve. The most surprising person that I wasn’t thinking would be there, Kaitlyn Wilson, who attends Longwood University. I think it’s really cool for her to drive a long way just to have dinner for my birthday. I appreciate her loyalty to me as a friend. When I was in the hospital, she showed up every single day… until my mom asked her to stop! But I can’t forget Teresa and all the other great people that were there. It was great to see the people I can never see anymore due to the license situation.

I didn’t get my license or a puppy like I would have liked. But I had a good night, so that’s alright. My mother did surprise me with two mini horses, which was not expected at all. I didn’t really understand that because I couldn’t get a puppy because I go to college in a year, but I can get two mini horses?? We went to see the mini horses, and they just really weren’t for me. We would have had to build a shelter for them. And the cost of their upkeep is sky high. So that wasn’t worth it to me. I’ve cost my parents a lot this year. And my father is still scared to open the medical bills he keeps receiving.

My day was tiring and good and long, and my night was great.

Week Update

Another week of life has passed, and it was long and tiring. The weekend is about over; the weekends pass way too fast nowadays. I went to Longwood on Monday, and I was accepted because they have immediate decision. I mean it’s cool and all, but I wasn’t too excited. It’s cool that I got into a college, but I hope I get into something more reputable. We’ll just have to see. My top choices for now are George Mason University and Christopher Newport University.

My birthday is in 6 days. I have no expectation. Because I know for sure I won’t get the one thing I want: my license. It’s something that doesn’t cost money, and frankly it’s been over three months. So, is just sitting here going to make me a better driver? I don’t know what my parent’s philosophy is, but I can’t control their opinion. And the one thing I wanted, a puppy, my mother won’t get me that either. So yeah I’m going to have the most awesome birthday ever. I was so excited to have a birthday on a Saturday, until this happened. I’m not excited for my birthday, and all the “happiness” that comes with it. The only thing I’m excited for is that my sister is coming home. That’ll be a gift in itself.

It absolutely sucks to be an only child for a year, with no license. I live in an awkward home, and I can’t escape from the awkwardness anymore. Last year I was hardly home, and I liked it that way. And it sucks to know that I never abused my driving capabilities, while plenty of people in my grade have driven reckless or intoxicated. I was never a bad driver. And I still don’t know what happened, so I cannot justify why it happened.

It’s just really an unfortunate life now.

Take Me Away – Chase Coy
Tired and Uninspired – My American Heart

Senior Pictures

Update with school, I did not at all want to drop another class because I could have handled six classes. But unfortunately, school would not allow me to switch classes even after speaking to the principal. So, I have five classes now: Honors Government, Humanities, Advanced Algebra / Trig, Biology II, and English 12. So I have only two honors classes this year (Governement and Humanities). Oh well, we'll just see where I'll get into college I guess! Cool college stuff: I did an interview at Christopher Newport Univeristy last week. I'm going to Longwood University on Monday and they're going to give me immediate decision that day. I'm going to George Mason University on Wednesday for a tour. On October 29, I am going to University of Mary Washington for this thing called Discovery Day. On November 10, I have a meeting scheduled with Radford University and they're going to give me an immediate decision. The college applications I still need to complete are George Mason, College of Charleston, and East Carolina University. But I am most likely going to have to go in-state for college. We'll just see 1) where I get in and 2) if I can get scholarships at the out-of-state schools.

School And Life

School breaks me down little by little. It stresses me out and tears every piece of my pride into thin air. I actually thought I was smart and could go far in life. But I’ve come to the realization that I’m not and I can’t.

School was too much to deal with, so I dropped AP Psychology. And tomorrow I’m meeting with the principal to switch out of an honors elective (British Heritage) to a regulars. And I’m also going to switch from Honors Government to regulars. I have to meet with the principal about all that because my counselor Ms. Zando refuses to switch me into a different elective. I asked her last week, “So, what happened to the whole ‘we’ll do anything to help you through this process’?” Ya know, I could actually keep all the classes I had in the beginning of the year, but I just don’t want to deal with it because I’ve given up the hope of going to a reputable school. And all that, it’s tearing down every bit of confidence I had. I’m not smart. I can’t handle everyday life occurrences. Most days, I’d rather crawl in a hole to just be alone and hear nothing but silence.

My birthday is in precisely 20 days. I honestly want nothing because I don’t deserve it. We got my medical bill in the mail on Friday. My mom can’t even buy airline tickets to Arkansas for my grandfather’s 80th birthday. So yes, I feel terrible for burdening my mother with a medical bill. My birthday present this year will be a medical bill payment.

So what keeps me going when there’s no joy left in my life? My dog. Music. Chrissy. I guess those things are considered my joy now.

Gone - Matt Nathanson